In this episode, Stacy sits down with coach and consultant, Kelli Cooper. The two discuss common misconceptions surrounding the law of attraction, and they’ll even explain how to apply the law of attraction principles to all aspects of your business.
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- Welcome to Marketing Mistakes and How To Avoid Them. I’m Stacy Jones, the founder of Influencer Marketing and branded content agency, Hollywood Branded. This podcast provides brand marketers a learning platform for topics for us to share their insights and knowledge on topics which make a direct impact on your business today. While it is impossible to be well versed in every topic and strategy that can improve bottom line results, my goal is to help you avoid making costly mistakes of time, energy, or money, whether you are doing a DIY approach or hiring an expert to help. Let’s begin today’s discussion.
Speaker 2: 00:31
- Welcome to Marketing Mistakes and How to Avoid Them. Here’s your host, Stacy Jones.
- Welcome to marketing mistakes and how to avoid them. I’m Stacy Jones. I’m so happy to be here with you all today. I want to give a very warm welcome to coach and consultant, Kelli Cooper. Kelli specializes in the law of attraction and has a company called Life Made to Order. I realize that this is not exactly what you might have expected to hear about on a marketing business podcasts, but I so firmly believe in this thought process and know it’s massively impacted my own agency in life that I want to dive in a little deeper and talk about how the laws of attraction can impact all of our listeners’ businesses and personal lives.
- Kelli particularly focuses on clearing up misconceptions held about the laws of attraction and helps people better understand how it actually works as theory of manifesting and real life practice aren’t necessarily the same thing once you throw in human errors and general confusion.
- Today we’re going to talk about how to apply the principles of law of attraction and conscious creation to all aspects of your business. We’ll learn what works from Kelly’s experience, what maybe could be avoided and where people are missing the mark. Kelly, welcome.
- Thank you so much for having me, Stacy. I’m really excited.
- I’m really excited to have you here as well. So can you give all of our listeners a little bit of your background and what got you to where you are today?
- Okay. Well, like most people interested in anything growth oriented, personal development, you’re probably, I was unhappy with my life in various ways, and there was always that pull to feel like there was more to life or more I could do with myself, and spirituality and different things, those topics were interesting to me.
- And yeah, I just started, on that path, reading books and different things and just like anybody, right? You start learning this new information, you start seeing things differently, you start questioning your current beliefs and self image and all of that thinking, “Okay, maybe all these crappy things I think and feel and this kind of pessimistic …” or whatever the typical worldview, most of us, our programming is, it’s not exactly empowering and positive. You start questioning, “Okay, maybe that’s not how it is. Maybe these things that actually feel good to think maybe these things are actually how the world works. Maybe these things are actually what I’m like as a person, my capabilities.”
- The law of attraction in particular. I think I got turned onto it actually about what my husband now, but my boyfriend at the time, he had some CDs his ex-girlfriend’s father had given him of Bob Proctor I believe it was and different things. And I just started, like anything, you’re exposed to this new information and you’re just like, “Huh. Interesting.” I think a lot of people, law of attraction or any kind of spiritual wisdom, all of that, it’s like you don’t know it with your mind, but a part of you knows it, and it’s coded in us somewhere, I believe.
- So when you hear these things or you read about them, there’s an intuitive resonance that you’re like, “Yeah, I kind of know this. I think this is true. I might not have been living it or consciously thinking about it, but yeah, I feel like this idea that our reality’s influenced by something internal, that the world is just not random and everything just happens out of nowhere and for no reason, that doesn’t feel good to think about that.” [inaudible 00:03:42] influence things by your way of your focus and your predominant belief system and how you think and how you feel, and that creates some kind of energetic signature that draws your experience to you, business, money, any aspect of your life, professional or personal.
- It’s a nice feeling, because it doesn’t feel nice to think it’s all a matter of luck or you’re at the mercy of other people’s whims and actions and hopefully everything lines up in a way that will work out for you.
- So yeah, I just kept going with that information. I just kept making these inner changes. You see the evidence as your own life experience, and then that’s very powerful evidence. That’s the only evidence you can really have in this sort of journey. There’s no science, well, technically, there’s quantum physics, technically might prove it, but I don’t really know much about that. But yeah, my life experience was mirroring back something different to me as my inner world changed.
- So I started connecting those dots and I’m like, “Okay, yeah, there’s actually something to this idea. It’s not crazy. It’s not wishful thinking or anything like that.” And yeah, I just became very passionate about this subject matter in particular. And I started blogging about it and I eventually started coaching. And yeah, that was what brought me here and now and end this teaching, and working on my inner worlds in that way, working on my belief system and managing my emotions in a way that I don’t get caught up in all this stuff my mind doesn’t like and all of that sort of stuff. And I feel like it’s allowed me to create a lot of really awesome things in my life.
- I’m coming to you right now from Thailand, my husband and I, we both have location independent businesses and we spend a lot of time traveling. If I have an Internet connection, it’s all good and I could live there for a while. And yeah, that’s pretty much it.
- That’s awesome. So for our listeners who, they’ve heard laws of attraction but they don’t necessarily know what it is and they’ve probably heard of the book The Secret or the [crosstalk 00:05:36] Celestine Prophecy or all of these wacky doodle, weird [crosstalk 00:05:42] right? Can you give everyone a little bit of background? What is the law of attraction?
- The law of attraction is considered, I think one of the biggest things, especially with The Secret and stuff, I think they did a good job of bringing the teaching mainstream, I guess you could say, which is a good thing. But I think it created a lot of misconceptions. You want to think of it not as a tool that you use in your life to make things happen, you want to think of it more as a universal law that’s always been operating in your life and not just life on earth, but the universal law, right? The universe, which is something I don’t think we can really comprehend what’s happening on that level, we’re not capable of it in our human consciousness, it’s kind of limited.
- So this idea is everything is energy. Our thoughts, our feelings. Again, this is something which reminded me, I don’t fully understand it, I made peace a long time ago. I stopped trying to do this all from my mind and just accepted like they’re just things I don’t understand and I’m okay with that.
- So there’s idea, there’s an energy of frequency to our thoughts, our feelings, that creates what you hear is about vibration, I guess. And yeah, whatever is dominant in that energy field, it’s the emotional charge. There’s an emotion there, dominant emotions and you just attract things that mirror that back to you. But basically it’s yes, idea of what you believe, what you feel, what you think predominantly. Don’t stress about being perfect at it because you won’t, you’re a human. You’re just going to mirror back things that reflect all that back to you.
- And so just the most basic simple laws, the simplest, if you worry about money a lot, you’ll probably manifest a reality where money will be a problem for you. Again, these are just the most simple basic examples. If you believe all guys are jerks or all women are psycho or whatever, those are the type of people you’ll attract into your life. If in business you have ideas that business is supposed to be hard and you have to work hard for your money and it’s all about competition and getting ahead of the other guy and all of that, you’ll probably manifest a business experience where you’re always competing, and if you believe it’s hard to earn money, you’ll set yourself up for a business where you find earning money is hard.
- So that’s at the most basic core. You’re putting out an energy and you’re just reflecting stuff back that mirrors back those beliefs to you.
- Yeah. Because basically, your story, the only one that’s central to it as you.
- Exactly, yeah. Yeah only thing in common with all your life experience is you. And that’s the thing. There’s some people that might be like, especially cause there’s misconceptions about the teaching, I think some people see you as like this magical tool to manipulate reality, and if that’s the concept, if that’s the conception that they have of it, a lot of people might be skeptical or like, no, that’s stupid or this or that. But I think when you start to see what it really is, I think most people, it would make sense to them, that everything that’s happening is not just random and just happening out of nowhere. Something’s preceding it on an invisible level, I guess you could say.
- And it’s just like that invisible level is, yeah, it’s us. It’s what we’re putting out there, what we’re focusing on, how we see ourselves. The world will see, our immediate experience will just be a mirror of that.
- Right. I think from what I’ve read, it’s the ideology that the universe, whatever it is, that’s out there, that energy, that God, whatever it might be [crosstalk 00:09:11]-
- Yeah, whatever term you like to use, right. Mm-hmm (affirmative).
- Right, is that it actually wants to give you what you want, and if you connect to it, if you actually put thoughts, which is the only way, because thoughts are energy, the only way [crosstalk 00:09:24] then if you put it back [inaudible 00:09:27] there it doesn’t know good or bad. It just is like, “Oh, you want that.”
- And if it happens to be bad, you get the bad.
- Exactly. I love that you brought that up, Stacy, because that’s, I think, the thing about people that they can miss in this process, because I think the universe is set up to work for us and not against us and yeah, we can be this awesome co-creator with this force that, again, is beyond our understanding.
- And yeah, the process of attraction itself though, I always like to describe it as neutral, dispassionate, disinterested, mechanical, clinical. Like you said, it’s like you’re putting something out there and anything that happens to you, good or bad, wanted or unwanted is just neutral feedback of your energy. So you put something out into the universe, that energy of wanting, like you said, those thoughts, but you can only get what you want if you’re a match to it. The universe can’t respond to your want, your need, all your efforts in the way of your personal development work that you might be doing, like affirmations or journaling or making a vision board or whatever, and you’re a match or you’re not. That’s basically what it comes down to.
- So, yes, the universe can do all these amazing things and assist us, but we have to be in an energetic space to receive this assistance if you want to think of it that way, because it can’t defy our energy. So I think that’s where a lot of people, that’s where there can be a disconnect there because they think of it as like, “Well, the law of attraction is, I get whatever I want.” Yeah, you can, but are you a match to it? Oh yeah, probably not. No, not really. And that’s where they see like, “Oh, I get it now. I can’t just get this stuff regardless of my energy just because I want it. I need to be a match to receiving it. And that’s a whole different ballgame.”
- So that’s where, I think one of the misconceptions come in. I like to talk about the theory versus reality. In theory, all you’re being asked to do is believe the law of attraction’s real and you’re a powerful creator. You think about certain things in a positive way and you sit back and you wait for your stuff. And it’s like, yeah, in theory, and you give your vibe some juice with some affirmations and stuff and you help activate that energy.
- In theory, like any theory, real world conditions are not accounted for, and the real world conditions as far as human energy goes, there’s a lot more going on. You have a lot of programming and conditioning that’s contrary. Business is a perfect example, right? It’s tough out there, the competition, you gotta work hard, you only deserve your money if you work hard. So you have all that conditioning with business or relationships or money or whatever.
- Self sabotage, people don’t think about that in the equation. A lot of us, we claim on a conscious level, we want certain things. You want your business to be successful, but a part of you, there’s a negative association with that success. And a lot of this might be cliché Psych 101 type stuff. But most of us, emotionally speaking, we’re pretty, I like to call us like basic beasts. We’re not very complex and complicated, we all have the same universal issues.
- So yeah, there’s all of these things that come into account in the human level that aren’t accounted for, and I think that’s where a lot of people struggle. There’s the misconceptions about the teachings where you just ask for what you want and the universe will give it to you. It’s like, yeah, it could give it to you like that. But most of us, we’re not in an energy to receive it. So there’s some work that needs to be done.
- And this human factor, what I like to talk about a lot, is there’s a lot more issues in our energy than just whether or not we have faith that this is a real thing. There’s the self sabotage, the negative association with getting the things we want, skepticism, doubt, issues of worthiness and deserving, thinking we don’t deserve the things we want. So yeah, when you throw all that into the mix, you see that there’s more that has to be tended to for most of us than just, well, I believe, I said an affirmation, I put my intention out into the universe and, yeah, all of that’s wonderful. But there’s usually the process of changing the energy. There’s a little bit of effort involved in doing that.
- So saying something 100 times, staring at yourself in the mirror is not actually going to necessarily do it.
- Yeah, exactly. That’s another thing too, like what I said earlier, a lot of times, I think especially with The Secret, which, again, I think it did a good job of bringing the teaching mainstream, which was awesome. I think, as a whole of humanity, our consciousness is expanding and people are thinking more about these sorts of things and discovering these universal spiritual laws and all of this and trying to live them in their life more. But I think it did paint the law of attraction as a tool that maybe you weren’t using before, but now you can use to get everything you want. And again, no, it’s not a tool. It became synonymous with things like vision boards and affirmations and journaling, and any program that’s action oriented, like get up every day, say your affirmations five times and then journal and do that. Right?
- And so we almost think of it more as an action oriented thing and we think affirmations and visualizing, that that’s the law of attraction and, no, that’s not manifesting. Those are just tools to help facilitate inner change. And if they’re helping you feel better then awesome, their public going to help you. But a lot of people, because we’re so action oriented, especially like if you’re thinking business and stuff, we think, well, if you do enough, eventually you get some sort of results. But that’s not how it really works with energy because no outer action, including personal development work, affirmations, journaling, whatever floats your boat, whatever you do, that can’t guarantee any sort of inner shift.
- So because again, we’re so action oriented, people are like, “Well, I’m doing all this stuff and nothing’s changing.” Yeah, because it’s not an action oriented thing. You’re doing these things but what are you being, are all these doings changing what’s your being? And most people will be like, “Yeah, probably not. I say my affirmations every day for five minutes about wanting more clients for my business or wanting this opportunity to grow my business or whatever, but then the rest of the day, all I’m focuses on is that I don’t have clients, I’m worrying about the competition, I’m worrying about this. I’m worrying about that. And it’s like yeah, five minutes of affirmations probably isn’t going to override all of that if that’s where your predominant energy is more on what you don’t have, what you’re lacking and worrying and all of that stuff.
- So yeah, if you want to implement this teaching more in your life, it’s really pay attention to what’s happening inside. Make sure you’re focusing on what you need to be focusing on, which is inner transformation, which is the root of your experience, the level of cause, not just trying to activate positive vibes to get this stuff you don’t have. That’s what most people are doing, that’s a very different journey. It’s very painful and very frustrating, and a lot of people might’ve seen, especially with something like business because there’s so much conditioning around business and money, that’s [inaudible 00:16:21] this way of operating, you’ll you’ll see that conditioning, it’s just probably still winning out because you haven’t really done anything to change it. You’re just trying to wait for more money or more clients or whatever and yeah, that has its place, but that’s not the law of attraction.
- Okay. So what is law of attraction and how do you get there? What is it you need to do?
- You need to do? If you see it as a universal law that’s always been operating in your life, one of the things that will entail changing your energy so your reality is different moving forward is you think, okay, if the law of attraction is not a tool, if it’s not affirmations and just trying to activate positive energy, which again, of course as part of it, if I’ve always been creating my reality, what created what I’m trying to change now? Why am I always in the bad relationships? Why am I still struggling with my business? Why am I struggling with money? What led me to create my financial problems now? What led me to create the lack of progress in my business? Why do I barely have any clients? Why haven’t I gotten where I want to be professionally or whatever the area of why, but why do I think I’m still struggling with this health problem? Where do I think it manifested from on an energetic level, right?
- Because it’s all about what’s happening inside. It’s good to have an idea of, well, what’s happening inside now? Yeah, I know where I want to be and I want to focus on that and do all that stuff, yeah it’s great, but what led me to create what I’m trying to change now? Because you need to know what you’re working with energetically now, and then it’s like, okay, now I get it. I’m struggling with business because I grew up poor, and I have this high end service now that I’m trying to do, I’m a high end coach or a consultant or this or that, I have never experienced having this type of money before. I can’t even fathom having this type of money when all my life I’ve worked a minimum wage job or my family was poor, and then you just see, it’s like, oh my God, I’m not a match to a six figure income because I have no idea what that’s like. I can’t even fathom having that kind of money. I have all this conditioning about … you might have conditioning with money, something like that. Like you’ve never had a lot of money.
- So if you’re trying to like run a business that’s a higher end, the idea of receiving thousands of dollars at a stretch just for a few hours of your time as a consultant for example, your mind’s probably like, “You can’t earn that much money that easily.”
- There’s the guilt.
- Exactly. There’s guilt. You don’t [inaudible 00:18:47] have money to, the idea that we work hard for our money, we earn our money, so making a lot of money easily, especially doing something you love and that’s easy for you when you’re good at and it’s not hard and you’re not struggling, you’re mind’s like, yeah, that doesn’t go together. You don’t get to make money that easily. What you’re going to get $5,000 for three hours of your time and you just get to talk about just what you know and you don’t even have to prep for it and you just get to have fun and be passionate about your work and get all this money? Your mind’s like, “No, sorry, you can’t do that.” You might have negative associations with making a lot of money. You think a successful business, more money, more problems kind of thing. You think that will complicate your life in some way. You grew up in the blue collar. We may not have money, but we’re honest type family. If you’re rich, there’ll be like, I don’t like you. You’re one of those rich a-holes with money now.
- So yeah, and here’s the thing, again, affirming and thinking positively. Yeah, that’s part of the package. But again that’s not the law of attraction, that’s personal development work that could help inner change. So there’s value in it if it’s actually making it feel better. Most people, they’re doing these things. It’s like when they’re a kid, they’re just getting their homework out of the way because they have to get their homework done. So they go like, “I do my affirmations. I guess I should look at my vision board for a few minutes today.” Where’s the energetic juice there? You’re getting no emotional benefit from doing these things, right?
- So yeah, you have to think about how do you feel about money? How do you feel about relationships? How do you feel about this thing or that thing? What may have led to the money problems now? Why don’t you have the clients now? What is going on there? So again, because if you see it as this universal law that’s always been operating in your life, knowledge is power and especially with energy work, because if your inner world creates your reality, if you believe that, even 10% of you believes that, then it’s like, “Oh, okay. I have to know what’s happening in my inner world.” If my inner world’s creating my reality, it’s probably a good idea to figure out, well, what led me to create and receive what I’m receiving now that I’m not so happy with.”
- So yeah, that’s really the thing I want to stress. Don’t see it as a tool to manipulate energy and to manipulate your circumstances in the way your ego mind wants them to be manipulated. Think about it as I’ve always been creating my reality. I just didn’t know I was doing it. So I was creating stuff that I’m not very happy with. Oh, but I can change that now.
- So yeah. Don’t be afraid to get all of that stuff. It might be uncomfortable. You might have some bitter pills to swallow, you might have some uncomfortable truths to [inaudible 00:21:27] never, inner work can get messy in that sense, because there’s stuff happening that’s not ideal for us. But yeah, that’s really the key to really harnessing that power you have, that control, for lack of a better word. I don’t really like that word, but that’s kind of how we think about it, because if it’s your inner world that’s creating, you have to know the contents of that world and what needs to be tweaked there to get where you want to be.
- So yeah, one of the things is like I have to understand what led me to create what I don’t like now, and then that knowledge, I can move forward and I can create what I prefer instead.
- And really what you’re doing is you’re looking at your own self limiting beliefs.
- Exactly. Yeah.
- Figuring out where those are at so that you can stop having them, because you’re locking whatever …
- Your goal actually is. And I would say to another really important thing, especially if you’re interested in really deep lasting change that will bring consistent change in your reality, because any attention to your energy is better than none. And you can make surface changes here and there and you might get some pop here and there. They’ll think positive for a couple of weeks, we’ll get a couple of new clients or you’ll go to a couple of new opportunities or whatever. But if you want to see, especially with business stuff especially cause we tie so much of our self worth to money and our professional success, if you’re struggling in your business right now, for example, your mind is telling you that you feel bad because your business is not successful or because you’re struggling with money. But that’s not why you feel bad at all.
- Your mind is telling a story about those circumstances that is some sort of reflection on you as a person that feels really bad, and your mind is looking to the professional success and the recognition and the money to make those bad feelings go away. So another part of this too, an energetic thing that it’s good to work on just in general because it’s good to not rely on the outside to make us feel better inside, that’s always a dangerous formula for unhappiness. If you’re struggling in your business right now, what does that say about you as a person? If you can’t seem to make a lot of money, what does that say about you as a person?
- And again, there might be some ugly stuff there that you’re just like, yeah, I don’t like feeling this way. It makes me feel like a loser. I feel deep shame about my finances. People might think you’re super successful but you know you’re not, and you feel this shame or like you’re a fraud because people think you have all this money and you might not, you seem successful to them but you’re struggling and it’s this big, shameful secret you have that you actually don’t make a lot of money and you still don’t have clients or whatever. Or someone in your past, an abusive parent or a crappy person in your life told you that you were a loser or you were this or you’re that and your business struggles are proving that true.
- So yeah, that’s another thing too to look at, because when we try to change our reality from a space of feeling bad and wanting to make our pain go away and make our icky feelings go away and make all these bad feeling stories untrue, so that if we get the thing then it’s not true. Well I’m not a loser. I’m not stupid if I make a lot of money. That’s how the mind sees it, the outside circumstance really has nothing to do with the feelings that might be triggering something already there.
- That’s another thing too energetically it’s good to work on, is changing the story around the circumstances right now that are not ideal, understanding that that’s not why you truly feel bad, something else is already in there and these circumstances, the struggle in your business, the problems with money or whatever, that just triggered something inside, because you don’t really want to manifest from pain minimization and just trying to change the outside to feel better inside, because the outside actually has nothing to do with what’s happening, and again, business and money, it’s really important to do this because like I said, we tie so much of our feelings about ourselves to whether or not we’re succeeding professionally. And that’s never a good feeling because as some of you might’ve seen listening to this, you’re all business people, and you’re drawn to this because it talks about business, you might’ve had great success in your life and you see if that’s not it, you probably don’t feel any better inside.
- And what does the mind do? Well, let’s go inside and see what’s happening there. No, your mind has no interest in doing that. Your mind is like, “Well you doubled your income and you don’t feel better. Let’s try to triple it. Maybe if you’ve got 50% more clients, you know what? If you were more recognized in your field, you’d feel better if you were more famous in your field. Let’s try and get you out there more. Let’s try and get you more recognition and more praise.”
- And then we keep trying to get more on the outside and inside, nothing is changing, especially with business and stuff. It’s really nice to make those inner transformations when you yeah successful and when you do have the money, you actually enjoy it a lot more because it’s just these nice bonuses and you’re already feeling whole and complete and worthy and enough inside, and your business success is just a nice thing for you to enjoy in your human experience.
- So, let’s say you’ve sat there and you figured out that you have this inner transformation that you need to make, that you have identified, that you have self limiting beliefs, that you know you’re holding yourself back in some way, and it’s great to identify it, right? How do you go about and actually eliminate it from existing versus just identifying it and then being like, “Okay, I have identified the fact that I have this negative thought pattern about money or getting clients, because if I get more clients it’s more work than my team’s not going to do it.” And you scroll on there and then you’re like, “Oh, if I can just pull that back, then I’ll put an idea out to the universe that I want more clients and I’ll just hold all that other stuff to the side.” That doesn’t work. So how do you [crosstalk 00:27:21] it?
- Well, this is where it could get annoying for people, because the mind is so action oriented and it loves processes and blueprints and steps, it’s like, do this, do that, and then your limiting beliefs are gone. But all of that’s a result of our own thinking over time, right? All these things happened and we formed all these beliefs about how the world works. This is what it’s like with money. This is what it like in business. This is what relationships, this is what men are like. This is what women are, this is how it works, right? And all of these decisions were formed on all these experiences we had over our lifetime. And then what happens is that energy becomes dominant, our life experience reflects them back to us, and then our mind lives outside in. So our mind uses the outside to determine all of this inner stuff.
- So then we have all this evidence, right, that all of these things are true. So then we have to go about, well, how do I change all of that? And there’s really no exact process. There’s nothing you can do to change your belief system. You can’t argue to your mind from a logical, its level and try to convince it to believe something else instead. Because your mind is like, yeah, that sounds nice, but I have no proof of that belief. I have a crap load of proof about this terrible thing that you think. Because again, your mind sees the evidence on the outside and that’s proof of what you think, because your mind doesn’t understand the energy came first and then the experiences, it’s doing everything backwards.
- So really the only thing you can do is, as you learned about these things, like the law of attraction and all these like spiritual wisdom and all these wonderful things that feel so nice and warm and fuzzy to think, you have to make a decision. Okay, these beliefs feel good to me. Intuitively something feels right about this idea that my energy creates my reality, that competition’s not a real thing. There’s only creation. Like business, for example, there’s enough clients to go around for everybody. You’re truly not in competition with anybody. No matter what line of work you’re in, there’s probably tens of thousands of other people doing the same thing you’re doing. I’m not the only life coach on the planet. I’m not the only person that focuses on law of attraction. You’re not the only marketing person or consultant or website designer or whatever it is you do, you’re not the only person doing what you’re doing.
- Technically, you have competition because there are other people that do what you do, but energetically, you understand, “Okay, if my energy creates my reality and nothing outside of me can influence that, how can I be in competition with anybody else? I create what I create based on what I feel inside. Nobody else can affect my reality. No one else can manifest in my reality.” So a belief like that or belief that you do in fact influence your reality by way of your inner world or whatever. These other beliefs that feel really good and are friendly to our manifesting agenda, your feelings, if you want to see it that way, it’s helpful to see it this way, if you see your feelings as a guiding system, things that feel good, they’re alerting you. That’s how Big U kind of communicates with you, if you want to think about, your soul, your spirit, whatever you like to call that part of yourself if you believe it exists.
- Okay, this good feeling, this is true. Keep up with this thing, this idea of you’re a loser, money’s hard to get, you were poor as a kid, so you’re always going to be poor. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and all these crappy things that most of us are conditioned to believe, why we got on the crappy belief train so predominantly, I don’t know where it started, but that’s just where we are, how it started, I don’t know. Oh that stuff feels really bad to believe. That’s me communicating to you. That’s not true. So stop believing that.
- So when I start seeing my feelings as a guidance system, then I started realizing, okay, if my intuition, my feeling, you have to start seeing that as a valid means of evaluating what’s true and untrue. And that takes work because most of us, we’re not doing it from our level of feeling. We’re doing it from the level of mind, and our mental conditioning is pretty crappy. So we believe all these crappy feelings, we have all this evidence, they are true, your mind will serve up a catalog of experiences in a split second to prove these things true or remember that thing that happened and look what’s happening with your business now and you haven’t had a client in six months and blah, blah, blah. Right? And you’re just like, “Oh, this feels terrible, mind, oh my God, you’re right.” And then we just stay stuck because our mind points to the proof in our experience, again not really remembering, no, the energy came first and then this. So the mind again is doing it backwards.
- So if you trust your feelings as that guidance system and these things intuitively feel right to you, you feel like there’s a truth somewhere there, trust that. That feeling is a valid means of evaluating what’s true and not true. But again, you don’t really have proof of doing things this way probably in your life. We all talk about our gut instinct and things like that, but truly seeing your heart and that part of you as a means of evaluating things, that’s common. Most people aren’t doing it to a very large degree. I did it for most of my life.
- So if you have this intuitive feeling that these things are true, anything that contradicts that, you start to realize, okay, that’s not true, but you’re probably not going to embrace a new belief system overnight, because again, you might have little to no evidence of it in your own life, so you’re not just going to start believing something that you have no proof for. But if you’re willing to question your crappy beliefs now, these things feel really bad, this bad feeling is alerting me to I’m believing something that’s not true. That makes sense to me. I trust that maybe there’s something to this idea of my feelings being this guidance system.
- A willingness is all you need. A willingness is the only place you can start because again, if you don’t have any proof for any of this, you’re not just going to dive full board to a new belief system. If it was that easy, we’d all be doing that and we wouldn’t be torturing ourselves our whole lives with all these crappy feeling beliefs and views of ourselves forever unless we’re masochists.
- So as long as you have that willingness to concede, maybe all of these limitations and thinking I have now about money and about myself and business and relationships or whatever it is in your life that you’re wanting to change, okay, I’m willing to think maybe this better feeling thing is true. And as you have that willingness, you’ll start manifesting experiences that mirror these different ways of thinking back to you. And this evidence is very powerful, because now it’s not just theory, you’re not believing it just because it feels good and you want to try and feel better because the other stuff feels bad to think, you’re actually starting to believe these things because your life experience is showing them to be true.
- And as you get that evidence, your faith grows, your confidence grows, and again, as you get this evidence, when you weigh that against this other stuff, you’re just like, oh yeah, I do see that. I changed my energy and I changed my belief, and I changed my experience. Interesting. So all the crappy stuff I was believing before, the only reason my life looked the way it looked was because I was believing these things that mirrored them back to me. Oh, okay. So all the limitations in thinking that are coming from my life experience. Oh, I’m finally starting to see that the energy came first.
- And then you start to see, you just start naturally releasing all of these limitations and thinking, because you just see, oh yeah, they’re actually not true, because now I have all this evidence of this newer belief, my life is improving, and yeah, so it comes down to trusting the intuitive feeling that those things are true. Because like I said, it’s not an action oriented process. There’s nothing you can do to change a belief. You created it. It’s in your own mind. It’s not this entity that’s separate from you and you have to go to battle with it and figure out how to get it out of your life. It’s you, you created it so you can uncreate it, I don’t know if that’s a word, but yeah.
- And yeah, there might be external resources to help facilitate this process, and affirmations and visuals, and meditation, exactly. So if you find external resources to help you do this, by all means embrace them. But don’t look to the outside to try to make these inner changes, and don’t hold all that stuff responsible. “Well I have to go find a tool or technique to get rid of my limiting beliefs.” They don’t exist. Nothing can, independent of your willingness, change your energy for you.
- So yeah, don’t see it as like an action oriented process, like, “Oh I have to figure out these steps or this program.” Yeah, you might find something that helps you, but really it comes down to your own decision. But these will be decisions you’ll have to make over and over again, because you’ll always manifests stuff into your life, you’ll always observe things that will challenge your new way of thinking, and you just have to be vigilant about just consciously rejecting it to kind of keep your energy moving in the direction you want it to go.
- Yeah. So basically you just need to be aware of your thought patterns and decide if you want to accept them or not accept them.
- Exactly. As far as tools go, I always like to say just awareness of all your inner garbage will be your most powerful tool, because as you make these changes, there’s all sorts of stuff in your energy right now that you might not be aware of at the moment, but you’ve actually on some level, might’ve even moved away from it already and then you become aware of it and you’re like, “Oh yeah, I actually don’t really think that way any more, predominantly. It came up for me. It’s still there a little bit, but ultimately, yeah, I know that’s not true.” Because what happens is the thoughts themselves really aren’t creating your reality. It’s the emotional charge around them. So when you’re thinking of them and you’re just observing them and you’re aware of them and you’re not getting sucked into your mind’s stories and its chatter, you’re not believing it. They’re just words in your head, they’re relatively harmless and will only be a problem when you invest emotionally in what your mind is saying, because then you’re creating that emotional charge and that’s what’s really creating your reality, not so much what you’re thinking.
- So yeah, you have tens of thousands of thoughts a day, all sorts of stuff that’s going to happen that’s going to trigger your mind’s thought patterns. Good luck trying to control that. You’ll drive yourself literally insane, and you’ll have to take up on every moment of your time and it’s just not feasible to do this. Just be aware. Don’t get emotionally invested because your mind will always do what it does.
- That part of your mind’s always going to hold back from this. It’s never going to get fully on board with what you’re doing because that way of operating is a threat to it, because [inaudible 00:37:36] doesn’t like it, so it’s always going to try to pull you away from it. But what happens over time is your mind’s still going to do all its nonsense and its limitations in thinking and its fear and fighting for your old programming and fighting for your limiting beliefs about money and business or this thing or that thing. For some reason your mind loves to cling to all the painful suffering that doesn’t care that these beliefs make you miserable and hold you back. It’s like, “Oh no, it’s mine. I created it and I’m not going to let it go.” It’s like it’s baby, right?
- So that’s always going to be something you’re contending with, but you just get better at separating yourself from it, you don’t get sucked into it. And all this other energy, all these new beliefs, they become dominant in reality and that way of thinking and being over time, it just becomes more natural to you and it’s not something you so much feel like you have to make an effort to do.
- Right. And I’m assuming, at least for me, I know that I have to allow myself enough sleep or enough relaxation, or just a step away from whatever it is that my mind’s wrapped around, which is usually [crosstalk 00:38:37] in order to have the recharge ability to actually have the room to even have these thoughts, or to sit down and be introspective.
- Mm-hmm (affirmative). I love that you mention that, Stacy, because one of my favorite pieces of advice for people is, because we think the law of attraction, you think about you want to attract something specific in your life usually, right? You want money or relationships, help with your business, your health, you want to lose weight or whatever. Right? And it’s okay to want these specific things, no reason not to have them show up in your life as long as you make the changes that make you a match to them, you have no choice but to attract them.
- Again, because we see the law of attraction is very action oriented, all our energy work tends to be on a very specific subject. Let me try to manifest the money, this thing, the relationship, whatever, the new clients, the new whatever, and it’s okay, it’s okay to focus in those specific ways, but then again, we make it all about getting something we don’t have and we’re not paying attention to the inner transformation, and what you’re talking about, I like to refer to that as general vibration management, anything you can do to feel better overall is going to benefit you, because at the core of everything you want, the business success, the clients, the money, the relationship, whatever it is, there is a certain group of core energies that you’re actually seeking, and your mind thinks it will come from these certain things, but they tend to be very broad and general. You just want to feel happy, right? You want to feel at peace, you want to feel happy, you want to feel fulfilled, you want to feel like every day you get up and you’re enjoying your life and you like how you’re spending your time and your human experience, right?
- So the general vibe management helps create those energies, taking care of your wellbeing, managing your stress, making time for your hobbies and things that make you feel better, anything that makes you feel good. Right? And if you think, oh, if my energy’s the level of cause, if I’m activating and building all of this energy by way of this general vibe management and just working on my happiness in general, just to be happier and healthier emotionally and physically, whatever, oh, I’ll start attracting more things that feel like that to me. And you’ll start to see movement in all areas of your life without necessarily focusing so specifically on them. Because for a lot of people that very specific focus tends to backfire. It doesn’t make people feel better, it doesn’t make them feel more hopeful about their prospects because they tend to be very focused on the fact that I don’t have money, I don’t have clients, I still have this weight, I still don’t have a relationship, and then I’m trying to get this thing I don’t have.
- And again, that’s a very different journey than just trying to change your energy in a way that you align with these things. To our mind, it seems like I’m talking about two of the the same thing in slightly different ways. General vibe management, what Stacy’s talking about, because it will be a lot easier to work on those messier parts of your energy when you have to dive into the negative feelings and the bad stories, and all this stuff that’s leading you to want the outside changes to make all this go away. You’ll be more emotionally resilient if you’re managing your health, taking good care of yourself and you’re just in a better mental state overall. And when there are problems in your life and things that happen, because stuff’s always going to happen. Your mind can turn anything into a problem. All sorts of things will happen to you that truly aren’t a problem, but your mind will see them as a problem and it will jump on, “No, this is a bad …”
- So you’re always going to be contending with the emotional response of your mind’s chatter, stuff will happen, right? So if you will learn to manage all that better and you prioritize dealing with all of that, it’s much easier to look beyond what’s happening now to the circumstances you prefer to see instead, because you’re not getting all emotionally rustled up by all of these things that your mind doesn’t like. You might not like it, but the emotional charge of what’s happening, you respond differently to these unwanted circumstances, you’re feeling better overall and you get what you want right away, which is just to feel better.
- And again, the stuff you get, you’re not looking to it any more as, “Well, I need this thing to happen. I can’t feel better until I get more money. I can’t feel better till my business is a success. I can’t feel better until I make this amount of money,” that’s completely arbitrary that your mind has decided on like the six figure income or whatever. And yeah, so I like what you said about that. That’s one of the best things you can do for your energy, is generally do what you can to feel better, manage your stress, try to enjoy your life now because basically our mind holds our happiness hostage until x, y, or z happens. And then again, LOI 101, all you’re focused on is what you don’t have and you can’t manifest a reality any different than continuing not to have it.
- So the mind will fight for all of these perspectives and ways of being, thinking, well, you get to feel this way because you don’t like what’s happening. But then you see energetically that the problem with that … So yeah, that’s one of the best things you can do, is what can you do right now to feel better overall? What do you need to add to your life? More likely, what do you need to subtract? Are there any changes in your behaviors, your habits, how you spend your time? It could be scaling back on commitments. Because a lot of times too, the mind doesn’t understand how these general things benefit the specific things you want, because again, it sees the law of attraction is a very action oriented, let’s try to activate energy, let me focus on this so it doesn’t understand how these other changes benefit these specific things. But it gets you in a better feeling space energetically. And if your energy is changing, it’s going to change in ways to reflect this more positive energy back to you.
- So yeah, think about in your life now what you can do to get in a more neutral space energetically if you’re feeling pretty low, don’t feel pressured to get like super happy, or what can I do right now to feel better enjoying my life more now? Because that’s all I want anyway. And you’ll just manifest more stuff that mirrors back this warm fuzzy energy to you.
- And in terms of business, or anything, it’s also about not just sitting there and doing that kumbaya moment of, oh, it will all happen for me if I project it out there, but actually taking actual action items of progress and goaling and helping the universe deliver to you because you’re actually putting out, you want new employees that are fantastic and you’re actually putting out a job offer and listings for our employees that are up are awesome, that you’re actually doing that to actually make the steps happen that you’re [crosstalk 00:44:59].
- Exactly, because here’s the thing. Action is the level of effect. It’s a manifestation of energy. Everything we do action wise is being prompted by something internally. But yeah, especially business, for most of us, action is going to play a role in getting the results we want. So yeah, it’s important to recognize that your energy is the true root of creation, not your action, but that’s not the same thing as, yeah, just pulling back from your life, putting your intentions out there and thinking you can just wait for the universe to come and fix everything for you. And especially with business, you should probably want to be doing certain things. If you’re enjoying your business, there’s probably actions you’d want to be taking. So if you’re feeling in your business, like you’re just not feeling inspired to do anything or you’re struggling with your actions, your lack of result is not because you’re not taking those actions, but the lack of action is a symptom of something being off energetically, or you’d probably be doing these things that you think are helpful or that should be enjoyable to you.
- With action, with your business, remember it’s a manifestation of energy. So do your best to do stuff for your business that you feel aligned with on an emotional energetic level. If there’s a certain tactic that doesn’t resonate with you, then don’t do it. Do the things that resonate because again, it’s not [inaudible 00:46:16]. So if you’re doing something for your business that you don’t enjoy what you’re doing it because someone else told you that’s what you do, or that’s what they do, they might have a great result with it if they enjoy doing it, but if you don’t like doing it, you’re probably not going to get the same result because you’re not doing it from a space, oh, this is an inspired action. I really enjoy Twitter. Or I really enjoy making podcasts where I enjoy blogging or whatever it is you might be doing, networking, whatever. You’re doing it because you think you have to and you’re just focused on what you don’t have and you think this thing will get it for you.
- So you’ll probably be like how come it’s not working for me, it’s because energetically you’re not really aligned with that approach, so you’re not benefiting from it in that sense.
- So trust your intuition with stuff like that with the action. Do the things that feel good. If you’re doing stuff right now that doesn’t feel good, maybe pull back, see what’s happening energetically, and you might find that you might enjoy this action more if you approach it from a different space, or you’ll find that like, no, it’s actually not really right for me. I’m going to stop doing it because I see it’s not working for me. Or you’ll think of a whole new action to take or whatever. But yeah, just always check your energy behind your actions with your business, you just want to do things in an energetically friendly way because if you’re not, even if you’ve got the results you want, you’re not going to enjoy them much anyway. A bad feeling journey will never lead to a good feeling destination.
- So yeah, just try to enjoy your business in that sense. And if you’re not taking action right now, again, the lack of action is not why you’re not successful. So when you’re not doing anything, it’s because energetically something’s off that’s creating the lack of action. Like, for example, right now you might be feeling like you want to create content for your website to advertise your knowledge, right? You’re thinking about a podcast or writing blog posts or whatever, and you’re feeling stuck and it’s just not enjoyable to you, but you want to do it. So you recognize, “Okay, well what’s happening? Why am I not taking these actions that I think will benefit me? Oh yeah, I’m still really afraid of criticism and putting myself out there. So that’s what’s creating the lack of content creation.”
- And you start seeing, “Oh, I can see what’s happening now. Okay.” And you work on the idea of fear of criticism. Not everyone’s going to like your content. You can’t be everything to everybody. You start realizing all of these things, and you get more comfortable putting yourself out there and then you’ll find that the content comes easy to you.
- So yeah, with the action, with your business, it’s not the action creating your results, but for business, the inspired actions act on them because that’s a nudge that this action will probably help get this result you want. So act on these inspired actions. They might not always be comfortable and it’s not the action that creates, but you’re probably going to do stuff for your business. So if you’re not doing anything for it, again, energetically, something’s happening and you want to look at that.
- Absolutely. Kelli, this has been fantastic.
- Oh, thank you.
- How can our listeners learn a little bit more about you? Where can they go for your blog, your website, all of that good information.
- Oh, awesome. Yes, so my website is livelifemadetoorder.com. I have hundreds of pieces of content on there. I have a podcast too, but it’s not a fancy interview one like this, it’s just me talking into a Soundcloud app for 15 to 20 minutes at a time.
- Oh, that’s how this started. This is how this started. I did 100 of the solo podcast.
- Yeah. I remember reading that. Yeah. To me they’re almost like audio blog posts. It’s easier than writing sometimes. I have podcasts, I have a blog posts. Recently, I’ve been very active on my Facebook page the last few months. I used to hate social media, but I kinda like it now. Facebook.com/lifemadetoorder. You’ll see I do daily updates of little inspirational nuggets. I do videos, they’re there and on YouTube.
- So on my website you’ll find links to all of that, livelifemadetoorder.com. I offer private coaching, single sessions as well as packages. If that’s something you’re interested in, you can check that out. I have products for sale, I actually have a product about the business and the law of attraction in particular. And I wanted to offer your listeners a special, or watchers, I don’t know if you have a video version, a 50% off offer on all products with the code “Hollywood.”
- That is easy enough to remember. “Hollywood” is the code and it’ll be in the show notes along with all the relevant [crosstalk 00:50:33]-
- … that you need so that you can actually find this more easily in case you’re driving or walking, or you’re sitting doing something else where you’re not taking notes right now listening to our podcast.
- Exactly. This was very fun. Thank you so much.
- Well, really, again, appreciate your time, appreciate your insight and sharing everything with us. And to our listeners, thank you so much for tuning in today, and I look forward to speaking with you all again on our next podcast.
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