EP 209: How to Erase Self-Limiting Beliefs with Tanya Romanuk | Your Best Self Career & Life Purpose Coaching

In this episode, Stacy sits down with Tanya Romanuk, the founder of Your Best Self Career & Life Purpose Coaching. The two discuss how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, PSYCH-K® facilitation, and mindfulness, can all be used as powerful techniques to erase self-limiting beliefs. Tanya talks about her experience, and how these methods have allowed her clients to see success in both their personal and professional pursuits.

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Transcript For This Episode:

Stacy Jones (00:01):
Welcome to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). I’m Stacy Jones, the founder of influencer marketing and branded content agency, Hollywood Branded. This podcast provides brand marketers a learning platform for topics for us to share their insights and knowledge on topics, which make a direct impact on your business today. While it is impossible to be well-versed on every topic and strategy that can improve bottom-line results, my goal is to help you avoid making costly mistakes of time, energy, or money, whether you are doing a DIY approach or hiring an expert to help. Let’s begin today’s discussion.Speaker 2 (00:31):
Welcome to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). Here’s your host, Stacy Jones.Stacy Jones (00:36):
Welcome to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). I’m Stacy Jones, and I’m so happy to be here with you all today, and want to give a very warm welcome to Tanya Romanuk. As the founder of Your Best Self Life Coaching, Tanya uses her skills as a mentor and life coach to help her clients actively reprogram their subconscious mind and erase self-limiting beliefs that sabotage success. Using cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, PSYCH-K facilitation, and mindfulness, Tanya has helped her clients rewrite their limiting beliefs and make dreams become reality. Today, we’re going to dive in and talk about the steps you need to take to reprogram your mind for success and rewrite previous limiting beliefs. We’ll learn what works from Tanya’s perspective, what should be avoided, and how some people miss the mark. Tanya, welcome. So happy to have you here today.Tanya Romanuk (01:20):
Thank you very much. Happy to be here.Stacy Jones (01:22):
So you have a really interesting business of what you do.Tanya Romanuk (01:26):
Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, well, it’s my passion. It’s my passion project and it’s my purpose. And I fell into it in one way, but it’s been creating itself for the past 25 years. I started my, I guess, education work career when I was in my early 20’s. I did my degree in psych and I started as a behavioral therapist in a primary school. Actually the primary school I went to, I was working with a little autistic boy and it was sort of a practicum. Learning how to interact with parents and learning how to interact with kids in that kind of an environment. And I was 22, and the little boy was autistic, and his parents were in denial, and the school was really unimpressed because the little kid was acting out all the time. And I was so in over my head, I just went like, “I’m not authentic. I can’t do this. It’s too much for me.”

So pretty typical, I fucked off, I went traveling, got some life experience, and I taught English overseas. And when I came back, I fell into this marketing role, this business role, and I was reasonably good at it. And I started to make money and I started to develop contacts, and from there I moved into product management and suddenly, literally it was 25 years later, and I was a business person. But something really interesting that I had experienced along the way was that four times throughout this career, I had been with tech startups that either two years in, I just couldn’t stand, or couldn’t see a career progression for me so I opted out of, or, funding went bust and we all lost our jobs.

And the last time this happened, I looked at this and I said, “The universe is telling you something. This isn’t what you’re supposed to do. You know you don’t love this. You drive to work every morning, wondering why you’re going back to the same job. So, maybe it’s time to do something that you know is you and go back to your roots.” But I hadn’t been doing it for the past 20 years because of course the same limiting mindset came up. Too old to go back to school. I won’t be able to pay my bills. This is the career that I’ve created for myself. I have to do this. And I had actually heard about this psychological approach, PSYCH-K, from a friend of mine, a couple of months previous. And so, after I lost my job, I said, “Well, let me just check this thing out, see if there’s any workshops or anything kind of in the next couple of weeks.”

And there happened to be one in two weeks. Pulled out the credit card, signed up, didn’t even think twice about it. And very, very quickly I realized that I was the one standing in my way. That there was absolutely no reason in my life that I couldn’t pursue my dreams. I had all of these opportunities in front of me, I just needed to give it a try. And so, I actually started learning PSYCH-K to become a facilitator and I did that. And over sort of the next little while, what progressed was, “Hey, I can do this for other people. I have these amazing experiences in my life. I’ve been divorced. I’ve lived overseas. I’ve been in business for 20 years. And now as a counselor, a life coach, and a PSYCH-K facilitator, I can help other people through these same transitions.” And it’s just, it’s kind of come together in a way that I didn’t expect, but I’m just having so much fun.

Stacy Jones (05:37):
I’d love for you to share a little bit more about PSYCH-K. What is that? When you say PSYCH-K, I know most of our listeners are saying, “What’s that?”

Tanya Romanuk (05:45):
Yeah. Fair enough. To be honest, when I first heard of it, I didn’t know what it was either. It does sound a bit kind of woo woo. And there is definitely a spiritual component to it, but it’s rooted in psychology and kinesiology, PSYCH-K. And so PSYCH-K essentially uses a combination of talk therapy, and kinesiologic concepts to rewrite limiting beliefs that are holding someone back to become more supportive beliefs to support their future. And so, the thing that people don’t often have as much experience with, you say talk therapy and every goes, “Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what that is.” But kinesiology is a little bit of a mystery to a lot of people based on movement somehow, and that’s very similar to kind of what we’re actually doing in PSYCH-K.
So, fundamentally what happens when we are born and we start to learn, and you’ve probably heard this concept before, but people become hemisphere dominant and one of their hemispheres starts to sort of deal with problems more frequently, you become kind of right-brained or you could become kind of left-brained. And over time, your right brain might be dealing with problems that your left brain would do a better job at. And through what we call whole brain postures and muscle testing, we can identify where you have limiting beliefs in your life that your subconscious mind doesn’t really believe that you can actually achieve something, and we create a whole brain state.

So we create the environments where both hemispheres have an equal opportunity to problem solve together. We use muscle testing to ask the subconscious mind whether or not it believes something that you’re trying to achieve. And muscle testing, it’s a little bit like the same concept as when people are going into a lie detector test. Your body knows when you’re lying and when you’re telling the truth. So I will ask someone’s subconscious mind, whether it believes something, muscle test one of their lens to see if it gets weak, and if it gets weak, that’s their body telling me that their subconscious mind doesn’t believe it. In PSYCH-K that’s a really good thing, because that means we have something to work with.
So we then take that concept and through back to kind of the talk therapy approach, we identify what the preference would be. So, you don’t have a love relationship in your life that you want? What would be your preference? Well, your preference might be, you just want more opportunity for love in your life. Or your preference might be, I want to find my soulmate. And then we change that concept into first person, present tense, emotionally meaningful goal statement, and through the use of that goal statement and then creating a whole brain posture to it, wallah, we have an opportunity to rewrite that limiting belief into a supporting belief.

It happens really, really fast. It’s really quite phenomenal. You see people go from within 15 to 20 minutes sometime going, “Oh my God, yesterday, that thing happened. I didn’t realize. I could have done that.” And so what happens is that the emotional attachment to the limiting belief goes away. The limiting belief doesn’t go away. We all have these beliefs. They don’t necessarily leave, but the emotional attachment you have towards it goes away. And because the emotional attachment goes away, it opens up your conscious mind to start seeing more opportunities for you in that area that you can take advantage of.

Stacy Jones (09:54):
And so you said there’s some foo foo to some of this. Right? And I’m a total believer in foo foo. I love foo foo. Thumbs up on foo foo. So, a lot of what you’re talking about probably plays into the laws of attraction, connecting with the universe, and it’s the same structure, but really more scientifically based.

Tanya Romanuk (10:18):
Yes, absolutely. Yep. So, it’s a nice combination of the spiritual component and the scientific component. And I think, especially right now, a lot of people are drawn more towards the spiritual because they’re starting to see that it is very rooted in science and in physiology.

Stacy Jones (10:37):
And so with all of this, you said that you can see changes in 15 to 20 minutes with someone. How is it you would conduct a session? You would sit down with them, I’m assuming this is something that’s done in person, which is not very friendly and COVID-19 right now. But for our listeners, as well, for them learn some tools, how would you process someone through? How could even someone try to do some of this themselves to change mindsets and open up the ability for them to actually see the possibilities that are in front of them that match with the dreams of what they want to have come true?

Tanya Romanuk (11:17):
Yeah. Well, in actual fact it can be done over the phone, and it can be done over Skype or Zoom just like this. And I think that’s something that a lot of people are kind of confused about. So, I do probably 90% of my facilitation over the phone and over Zoom and it works just as well. The understanding there is that because we are all one, and because the universe is infinite and we’re all connected, I can actually tap into the collective unconscious to be able to muscle test on your behalf.

Stacy Jones (11:57):
Okay. [crosstalk 00:12:00] That’s the foo foo of this. But that’s the connection with the universe and all things are energy and everything is again connected.

Tanya Romanuk (12:08):
Yeah. Yeah. So then in a session, it looks very much like an in-person session in that respect. We spend a little bit of time getting to know each other. We talk about the specific issue at hand. And through that conversation, usually what comes off, is kind of the one core issue that someone is having that they want to change. The hardest part I think for people is coming up with the alternative. When your subconscious mind and your conscious mind is so rooted in the, “I can’t,” and the, “I should and I don’t have the option to do this,” it’s really hard to put yourself in that first person perspective of what you want and having it right now.

So the goal statement creation is probably the most challenging. We usually come up with five or six different goal statements, and then we ask your subconscious mind, which of the goal statements is kind of the best one. And usually it’s the one that people tear up to. Then we progress into the muscle test. And so, we ask the subconscious mind if it believes that statement to be true, and when we identify that it isn’t, we have five or six different whole brain postures that we can select from. And again, we ask the subconscious mind, which of the whole brain postures we should be using for this goal statement? We select one. And then I talk the partner through it online so that they do the posture. And it’s almost always combined with visualization. So if that goal statement was, “I want to find my soulmate,” my goal statement might be, “I have an amazing soulmate partner in my life.”

And so the partner would hold the body posture, and in their mind, repeat to themselves over and over and over again this goal statement until they have an emotionally meaningful connection shift to it. So you can see. Some people they have like a body pain that goes away, or they just, suddenly it doesn’t bother them anymore. It’s like, “Oh yeah. I don’t even know what the words mean anymore.” There’s an emotional shift to that goal statement that changes. And then that’s it, they opened their mind. We kind of do a little bit of meditating on that for a minute just to kind of lock it in.

And then we will often talk about sort of next steps and a little bit of an action plan. Like, “Okay, so, hey, if this is what you want in your life, what are some of the things you could do today to try and get it?” And that might look like, “Well, you know what? I’ve been too embarrassed to start dating online, but I’m just going to do it. I’m going to sign up today.” And those action steps, because the emotional connection to the limiting belief is now gone, those action steps become much easier and they just naturally flow.

Stacy Jones (15:32):
And the universe helps you connect the dots after that and be able to see that there’s more opportunities, because what you’re putting in your mind and visualizing the universe is seeing, and being able to deliver back what you want, versus the mess that you are envisioning before and it condones delivering messages because that’s what you gravitated towards.

Tanya Romanuk (15:52):
Yeah, that’s right. And it helps that sense of achievement as well. It’s like, “Oh, I’m actually doing this now.” And just like in anything else, even in business, once you’ve taken that first step, the second step becomes easier, and the third step becomes easier. And the fourth step just appears to you and you go, “Oh, I didn’t realize, but this is super doable. I can do this. I can have this.” So we often as well, will do sort of a different, take a different layered approach.

There’s different techniques in PSYCH-K. Sometimes people will have a lot of stress associated to a particular situation. And so we have some, we call them balances to work through the perception of stress that someone has over a particular issue. We also have ways of looking for messages and meaning and repetition in people’s lives. That’s a really phenomenally amazing balance as well. I really love it when people come to me and they say, “So this thing keeps happening in my life.” And I go, “Oh, the universe is trying to tell us something, let’s find out what it is.” And that’s really amazing.

Stacy Jones (17:08):
So what do you do when that happens? So, I mean, I can relate to this because I’ve been thinking of, it’s COVID-19, we work in Hollywood. Productions are shut down, which means we’re not making a whole lot of money because our brands can’t pay money to productions to shoot. So we’ve been looking at a lot of different things and something that I was even thinking about pre-COVID-19, all of a sudden, people were knocking on my door. And I literally had someone schedule an appointment with me and told me they didn’t understand why I wasn’t offering this business service and that I should, and that they would hire me.

And I’m like, that is the universe talking very loudly, since they’re the third person in the last month to say something along those lines. But I’m able to recognize this. My husband’s a little bit more skeptical about it. He’s like, “Mm-hmm. Sure, universe is telling you this.” But how do people open themselves up better? And when you hear from a client and they’re like, “Yeah, these things are popping up.” How do you dig in? Where do you go from that?

Tanya Romanuk (18:14):
Well, we use something called the messages protocol, and little bit top secret. The practice of PSYCH-K is something that we don’t generally share to the public online. People who haven’t been trained in it, can’t kind of do it themselves. So, I could walk someone through it, but it’s not something that we would necessarily share online.

Stacy Jones (18:40):

Tanya Romanuk (18:40):

Stacy Jones (18:42):
So listeners you’re not going to get to hear-

Tanya Romanuk (18:45):
[crosstalk 00:18:45] Yeah, but fundamentally, so we use this protocol and again, I ask your subconscious mind, if there is a message in this situation. We will define the situation first. So, for example, you’ve defined a situation as there’s this potential business idea that keeps popping up. So, your conscious mind now knows that is the situation. I will ask your subconscious mind if there’s a message for you in that situation, and through muscle testing, your body will reveal whether there is, or that isn’t.

And once we identify that there is, then we go hunt for it. And the hunt is really fun because the hunt can be anywhere. I’ve had the hunt appear on the 160th page in the book, on the bottom corner of the bookshelf, in a book about stoicism. And I opened it up and I burst into tears because I was like, “Oh my God, that’s so true.” And I was working with this young boy a couple months ago and he had just come out of the closet, but he hadn’t told his whole family. This is such an amazing story. And he didn’t want to tell his grandfather because grandfather was very wealthy and he didn’t want to get cut off.

He’d been told, “Don’t tell grandpa, because grandpa might cut you off.” And so we led him through the messages protocol, and the message he got was, “You can feel safe in your truth.” And I didn’t know, at the time that he was gay and what was happening in his life. And so I asked him, I said, “Does that resonate with you?” And he just like, he was gobsmacked. He’s just like, “I don’t even know what to say. How did you know?” It’s like, “I didn’t know, universe [crosstalk 00:20:44]-

Stacy Jones (20:42):
The universe knew.

Tanya Romanuk (20:44):
Your subconscious knew and it told you. The beauty behind messages is once you know the message, the messenger goes away, because you now know what the next step is.

Stacy Jones (20:58):
Right. You don’t need someone tapping you on the shoulder continuously and trying to pull you kicking and screaming in one direction. You’ve actually acknowledged it, and hopefully you’re taking steps now to make it come to life.

Tanya Romanuk (21:09):
Yeah. And the universe has a bit of a nasty sense of humor. So, what generally happens is if people keep ignoring the message, it gets louder, it gets more aggressive, it gets nastier, and often it can get more uncomfortable. So you got to listen to those things, because if you don’t, something more drastic might need to happen for you to be able to notice it.

Stacy Jones (21:34):
Yes. I told my husband the other night that the universe is delivering COVID-19 to the entire world to get me to listen to this message of a new business opportunity. Isn’t that very nice of it?

Tanya Romanuk (21:44):
Yeah. But to be completely honest, there’s a lot of people right now that do believe that there’s a pretty major message for all of us, individually and collectively, in what is happening right now. So, I believe it.

Stacy Jones (21:59):
Well, you could go back to Celestine Prophecy that said that there’s a big lead up to lots of things. So, it’s definitely out there. There’s lots of concepts and beliefs that do support that have gone back decades.

Tanya Romanuk (22:11):
Yeah, absolutely.

Stacy Jones (22:12):
So what does someone need to do? Where would you give our listeners some guidance on how they could better tune in? Is it meditation? Is it mantras? Is it visualization? Is it a combination of all of these different things? If we have someone who is an entrepreneur listening or someone who’s on a career path and they want to make changes in their life, what are some steps that they should be taking actively?

Tanya Romanuk (22:42):
Well, there’s a whole bunch of different opportunities. I think meditation is really the best and the first approach for people to take. Your subconscious mind is incredibly loud if you can listen to it and giving yourself that opportunity to just listen to your thoughts, you’d be amazed at kind of the things that will end up coming through. But there’s also some kind of more strategic, some more tactical things. I’ve created a limiting beliefs, quality assessment for people who come to my website. So, you can go to my website, you can take it. It takes about 15-20 minutes, and it helps identify where there might be places in your life that you have limiting beliefs holding you back.

On my website, there’s also three other free resources. One of them is mindfulness meditation that’s called the Heart, Mind, Gut Meditation. And it kind of leads people through what your head thinks, what your heart thinks, what your gut thinks. And once you’ve kind of gotten through all three of those people go, “Oh yeah, that makes sense to me.” There’s visualization techniques on my website as well that you can try. But fundamentally, the best thing to do is just use perceptual positioning, put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

How often is it that someone says to you, “I don’t understand why you’re not doing that. You have the skills to do that,” but we can’t see it. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. What do they see that you don’t? We can’t see our own limiting beliefs. That’s why they’re limiting beliefs, right? But other people can. It’s so easy to look at other people’s lives and go, “They could be doing that better. They could be doing that better,” but we can’t do that for ourselves. Perceptual positioning gives you that opportunity to step outside of yourself, step into someone else’s shoes, and look back at yourself.

And it’s really easy. Try it with someone that you know. So try it with someone who knows you well. For example, well I’m going to put myself in my sister’s shoes. What does she see? And then put yourself in a stranger’s shoes, and ask what the stranger sees. And that can also really help kind of trigger areas in your life that you’re not able to see clearly.

Stacy Jones (25:20):
That’s great. So you have teased this fantastic website of yours. You have told us that there’s this awesome information that everyone should be going to, since it only takes 10 to 15 minutes to fill out. What is that awesome website? How can people find you?

Tanya Romanuk (25:34):
Yeah. So my website is dub, dub, dub, It’s Already In You, which is easy to remember because it’s part of my business name. So the business name is Your Best Self: It’s Already In You, live coaching. And the website is just, itsalreadyinyou.com

Stacy Jones (25:51):
Very easy. And that will be in the show notes as well, so that we can share that with everyone and they can take advantage of this inside fact checking that they can do of themselves.

Tanya Romanuk (26:03):
And you can book directly on that website as well.

Stacy Jones (26:06):
Perfect. That’s awesome. So what are some last parting thoughts to our listeners of how they should be taking action or what they should be thinking about right now?

Tanya Romanuk (26:21):
Well, I think something that’s really timely is probably just we get really caught up in patterns and habits and especially in a business context, “I do things this way. This is how the business needs to work. This is how my life needs to work.” As soon as you start thinking like that in a time like this, you’re really going to struggle. We really have to be conscious of the fact that we’re in a new norm, a new reality, and go to the ridiculous.

Don’t just look outside the box, look to the nth degree of ridiculousness of what you could be doing differently right now to improve your situation, improve your life, pivot your business, pivot your relationships. We’re at home with our partners 24/7 on the phone in business calls and it’s weird. Well, how do you make that work? What can you do that’s super out of the box? And then all of a sudden, “Hey, this works for us. Here’s a great business idea.” So yeah, I would say just nth degree, creative thinking.

Stacy Jones (27:32):
And on how you can actually bring some more bandwidth probably back to your life right now to make that happen.

Tanya Romanuk (27:39):
Yeah, absolutely.

Stacy Jones (27:41):
Well, I will say, it was lovely having you on today; really enjoyed it. I love talking about these things, including foo foo things, and having the fact that there’s science behind it in how our minds work and how the brain is actually processing, helps those people who are less foo foo thinkers understand that this actually does have impact on everyone’s lives. So thank you for sharing that insight too.

Tanya Romanuk (28:06):
Well, thank you so much for having me. It was fun.

Stacy Jones (28:08):
Of course. And to all of our listeners, thank you for tuning in to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). I look forward to chatting with you this next week and until then stay safe.

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Practical and pointed advice.

Stacy does a really great job making this a highly actionable podcast for business owners. With a focus on marketing, she covers a wide range of related topics as well and is always very specific with her questions so that the listener gets pointed advice instead of vague concepts to take away. It’s also really helpful to the hear the why behind any marketing tactic so that we can decide if something sounds like a good fit for where we are at in this moment.

Love this marketing podcast!

Lori has a way of finding new insights to share every week. I loved being a guest, but I enjoy hearing her many fascinating conversations with other marketers even more. Great show!

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