In this episode, Stacy sits down with Kim Ades, who is the President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching. The two discuss Kim’s unique philosophy on thought mastery, and how she uses this to coach her clients and help them shift their thinking to yield successful results.

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Website: frameofmindcoaching.com
Linkedin: @kimades
YouTube: Frame of Mind CoachingTM

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Transcript For This Episode:

Stacy Jones (00:01):
Welcome to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). I’m Stacy Jones, the founder of influencer marketing and branded content agency, Hollywood Branded. This podcast provides brand marketers a learning platform for topics for us to share their insights and knowledge on topics, which make a direct impact on your business today. While it is impossible to be well versed on every topic and strategy that can improve bottom-line results, my goal is to help you avoid making costly mistakes of time, energy, or money, whether you are doing a DIY approach, or hiring an expert to help. Let’s begin today’s discussion.Automated speaker (00:31):
Welcome to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). Here’s your host, Stacy Jones,

Stacy Jones (00:36):
Welcome to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). I’m Stacy Jones and I’m so happy to be here with you all today. I want to give a very warm welcome to Kim Ades. Kim is the president and founder of Frame of Mind Coaching, the founder of Journal Engine software, an author, a speaker, a coach, and a mom of five. With over 15 years of coaching many of North America’s most successful leaders, she is recognized as an expert in the area of thought mastery and mental toughness, and has a very unique philosophy and corky coaching style that helps her clients learn to deal with core issues and shift their thinking in order to yield extraordinary results.

Stacy Jones (01:12):
Today, we’re going to talk about leadership coaching of that mastery, and how your own mindset drives your success. We’ll learn what works from Kim’s perspective, what should be avoided and how some people miss the mark. Kim, welcome.

Kim Ades (01:25):
Thank you. What a lovely introduction.

Stacy Jones (01:28):
Well, it’s all available in your world of LinkedIn and your bio, so you made it very easy to find and pull together. Yes. Well, thank you so much for being here today. I’m really excited actually about our chat, because I am a big believer that your mindset really does that drive your success, and that you can self sabotage and just make your life fall apart. But I’d love to have to start off by telling everyone and our listeners how you got here today to be a thought leader coach.

Kim Ades (02:00):
Wow. Okay. So I have been studying leadership for like over 30 years, and I know I don’t look that old, but trust me, I’ve been studying leadership for a long time. Ever since I was in school, I did my master’s degree, I was always interested in leadership. But I’ll jump ahead and I’ll say that the last business I owned, we used to build simulation based assessments, and the purpose of those assessments was to help companies make better hiring decisions. And so I was really, really interested in like, “What’s the difference between top performers and everybody else? Do they have a special skill? Are they smarter? Do they have a better upbringing? What is it?” And so we ended up testing for a series of things, we tested for their IQ, we tested for personality traits, we tested for behaviors. And one of the things we discovered as a result of testing so many people in so many different industries, at different levels of leadership, is that extraordinary performer share one thing in common, and that one thing overrides all else. And that is that these people have a much, much higher degree of emotional resilience.

Kim Ades (03:11):
So what does that actually mean? What is emotional resilience? We’ve heard the term a million times, but let’s define it for a minute. Emotional resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity with greater speed and agility. That’s the definition. And I’ll add an extra layer to it, and leverage the adversity, do something good with it, turn it into some kind of advantage. So fast forward, I was running this company for 10 years. I ended up selling the company and I get recruited by a coaching company whose mandate it is to help people live extraordinary lives. I’m like, “Wow, that’s for me. I want to do that,” And I go, and I work for this company and I watch how they coach. Basically what they do is they have calls with their clients every two weeks, it’s a half an hour call. They create a business plan with actionable steps, and their job is to hold people accountable to making sure they do all the things they need to get done. It sounds reasonable, right?

Stacy Jones (04:17):
Good check-in, yes.

Kim Ades (04:19):
Good check-in, except I thought to myself, “Something’s wrong with this picture, doesn’t make sense,” because people know what to do they’re not doing it, right? We know how to lose weight.

Stacy Jones (04:31):
[crosstalk 00:04:31] Yeah, we all do.

Kim Ades (04:34):
So what’s up with that? What’s the real issue here? And I started to connect some dots and I realized that something’s missing, it’s that mental toughness, it’s that emotional resilience, it’s that internal fortitude that helps people take the actions they know they should be taking, but for whatever reason they don’t or when they do the outcome terms turns out badly.

Stacy Jones (05:01):
So it’s more than drive, it’s actually, there’s a stumbling block that for some reason, they’re just not able to get over.

Kim Ades (05:09):
Exactly. So I said, “I want to work with people and really help them get past that stumbling block,” And so that’s what I started framing my coaching. I said, “What if I could really get into the minds and hearts of the people I coach and understand what is getting in their way and help them dramatically boost up their emotional resilience so that they could reach their goals with ease.” So here we are, 16 years later, I’ve been doing this for a while. I have a team of coaches and I could talk about coaching all day and all night, if you let me.

Stacy Jones (05:50):
Well, how about for the next half hour I will let you?

Kim Ades (05:53):
Okay, let’s do that.

Stacy Jones (05:53):
Okay. We’ve got a deal. Perfect. So how do you identify stumbling blocks? I mean, everyone has them, we all have goals, whether it’s personal, it’s weight loss, it’s financial, it’s that you want to eat better or it’s that you want to make a million dollars, $5 million or whatever it might be. So I know we self sabotage as a species, and we’re really, really good at doing that, but why is that? And why do we create these stumbling blocks internally?

Kim Ades (06:23):
Yeah. So what is a stumbling block? Where does that actually come from? A stumbling block happens when our thinking does not coincide with the goals we have. It’s that simple. So when there’s something happening in our mental processing that doesn’t align with the desires that we have. So, and I’ll say it again, but a little bit differently. We get stuck when we have opposing beliefs to the goals we have. So for example, just as a very simple example, I want to lose weight, but it’s my son’s birthday. So we take him out and my mind is like, it’s his birthday, I’m supposed to celebrate, right?

Stacy Jones (07:21):
Birthday cake. Pizza.

Kim Ades (07:23):
I’m supposed to toast and have a drink in his honor. I’m supposed to have birthday cake because if I don’t have birthday cake, I’m not fully engaged in that celebration, I’m kind of sitting out. And so do you see how those ideas, those beliefs oppose my goal. And we have that all the time, the issue is that we’re not conscious of what those beliefs are. And my job as a coach is to help people become really aware of how their thinking is interfering with their ability to take the actions that will help them reach their goals.

Stacy Jones (08:05):
So you’re actually one of those good kind of coaches who doesn’t just sit there and receive the information and say, “Aha, okay,” and check the box. You’re actually coming back and challenging the person to dig in and figure out what’s going on.

Kim Ades (08:21):
Right. So how do we coach people? Because it’s that digging in piece that’s really important, right? How do we get to the heart of the matter? So basically the way we coach people is we do two really interesting things that’s significantly different from most organizations. Number one is, so we have a coaching call once a week and we record every call, and we ask our clients to listen to the recording. So here’s the cool part, is that when you hear yourself speak about matters that are personal and important to you, you learn to become an observer of yourself, and you learn how to pay attention to the words you use, the stories you tell, your emotional triggers, where you get trapped over and over and over again. And so a huge part of building this emotional resilience is learning to step aside from yourself and observe your reactions, your responses, your what matters to you, and where you get sucked in over and over and over and over again.

Kim Ades (09:27):
So that’s part A. And when you listen to the recording, not only do you get to observe yourself, you get to hear all the stuff you miss in the first round of coaching. It’s like getting coached twice. The second thing we do is we ask our clients to journal in a private and secure online journal with their coach. So what happens is at the beginning of the week, they get a journaling question or a prompt, and they start to journal. And their journal goes back to their coach who then reads in response to their journal with questions, with inquiries, with challenges, with comments. And the goal is to go as deep as possible, the goal is to really understand how a person is wired and understand what they believe to be true about all subjects so that we can get a good grasp about why they’re behaving the way they are behaving and why they’re experiencing what they’re experiencing. So if they’re not satisfied professionally, personally, in their relationships, there’s a reason. And while they may not have control over all elements, they do have control over themselves. And our goal is to hand over control of themselves to them.

Stacy Jones (10:43):
So the first point on having to listen to yourself, that’s not something that comes easily for people. I know it’s even hard for me to listen to my podcasts or TV interviews I do or anything. That’s just not something in our nature that most people are comfortable with. There’s so many actors who act, who say they never even saw the film that they performed in. So that’s a big hurdle that you have to get people on board with at the very beginning.

Kim Ades (11:07):
Well, it’s part of the deal. People come to us because they want to make major progress, they want to jump ahead. And we usually coach the highly driven population leaders, and we explain, “When you listen to your recordings, you’re moving at lightning speed, you’re accelerating the process.” They want speed, so they do it.

Stacy Jones (11:29):
And it makes sense because we’re all really good at listening to our friends and our family members and employees and hearing all the things that they’re doing wrong, that they can’t see themselves. And we hear it over and over and over. It’s easy to point out and be like, “Oh my God, you’re telling me the same story again,” but you’re making people listen to their same story over and over again.

Kim Ades (11:49):
Exactly. And we’re also helping them, like we provide a framework so that they can listen with, let’s say the perspective of a coach, and they can start to pick up every time they fall into the same trap using that framework. Every time let’s say they’re blaming someone else, every time they’re showing up as a victim, every time they are frustrated with the actions of someone else that has nothing to do with them, every time they feel sorry for themselves, every time they get into a relationship and feel disappointed every time they hire the wrong person, every time.

Stacy Jones (12:32):
That I could see, how could it make major strides happen and major uncomfortable moments that you get to overcome, but great insights like fast. That makes sense.

Kim Ades (12:43):
Extremely fast. But here’s the thing it’s like if you don’t see these things, you just keep doing them over and over again. And so the greatest goal of coaching is to turn on the lights so you can see. It’s not that I see better than you, but it’s a journey together where we turn on the light and look together and see what’s there. That’s the process.

Stacy Jones (13:11):
It’s the same as if you were a coach to athletes and they watch game tapes over and over to see where the performance was and where the issues were. So it’s much the same kind of mindset there that you’re taking with your clients.

Kim Ades (13:25):
That’s exactly right. That’s it.

Stacy Jones (13:28):
Perfect. Awesome. So what do you do then after that?

Kim Ades (13:33):
So what happens is every call usually in coaching, right? Like you’ve heard about coaching experiences where you get on the call and the coach says to the client, “So what do you want to talk about today? What’s on your agenda?” We don’t really have that approach because when people are journaling, we can quickly identify the things that need to be addressed. So we come to the call and we say, “We have an agenda. We want to talk about this, this, this, and this that showed up in your journals this week. Is there anything you want to add to that?”

Kim Ades (14:08):
So in our coaching experience, the coach is really leading the process of discovery, and uncovering the fundamental beliefs that are getting in the way of a person’s ability to thrive, to succeed, to reach their goals. And so on those calls, we go in, it’s not like we have to catch up like, “What happened this week?” We’re already up to date. So those calls are super powerful and they’re moving someone ahead at a very, very rapid pace. And what I have found is like people come in and they expect X let’s say, and they get X plus Y plus Z, plus A, plus B, they get so more because they don’t know what’s there.

Stacy Jones (14:55):
That makes total sense. So after you go through with this, typically how long do people take to start seeing results and understanding how they can make results in their own lives happen from this? Is it instantaneous, one session and they start going on a road, or with some people is it much longer to be able to dig… It’s an onion that you have to peel back I’m assuming.

Kim Ades (15:20):
Yeah. So I will say to you that it is not uncommon for people to have, not even the first coaching call the, before the first coaching call. Just the, “Hey, let’s get to know each other call.” The orientation call, where people are already making progress. A lot of people just have that one call and kind of go, “Whoa,” And then it is a bit of an onion, but still we’re starting to peel from the get go. Some people are more resistant than others. Some people are totally open. Some people want to look at themselves. Some people aren’t used to it. Some people are doing the work like they’re journaling like fiends two, three, four times a day. They’re listening to the recording immediately. And they’re just literally rolling up their sleeves and doing the work. Those people move very, very fast.

Kim Ades (16:13):
Other people aren’t so used to doing the work. Other people aren’t used to looking at themselves. And so it may take more than one week. It may take three, four, five weeks. But what I see is this pop that takes place where they suddenly go, “Oh my God, I never noticed, I never realized, I never saw this stuff and how it was really affecting me,” and then things start to speed up.

Stacy Jones (16:51):
And when you notice the things that are affecting you, you realize that you have this habit of, I know one of the biggest issues with a lot of business owners and managers are not getting rid of other employees fast enough, or not providing the guidance along the way that leads them to need to get rid of employees fast enough. Are there certain topics that you find that come up in the business community just over and over that you hear frequently?

Kim Ades (17:18):
Yeah. I mean, we see people not firing quickly. Why? Because they have a belief, “Well, I won’t find another person. Well, this person has a family. Well, what’s it going to do to the rest of the morale? Well, I don’t have time to fire them because then I have to find someone and train them and I don’t have time for that,” and so those are all beliefs, right? So they have reasons let’s call them reasons, some sound like great reasons, but really what they are is a set beliefs that keep us stuck.

Stacy Jones (17:53):
What are some other frequent beliefs that you hear?

Kim Ades (17:57):
“Well, I can’t hire anybody because I can’t afford it.” Or, “I can’t give this project to so and so because they don’t have the skillset.” Or, “I have to make sure it’s done properly so it’s better if I do it myself, it’s easier if I do it for myself.” Or, “I don’t have time to deal with this conflict, it’s just weighing me down so I’m just going to like let it pass.” Or, “We’re never going to make it, our prices are too high compared to our competitors. We have to change our prices. We need to be more competitive, and so the only way to do that is by lowering our price.” Or, “You know what? It’s my company and nobody else is as dedicated, no one else’s as motivated, no one has the same kind of urgency that I do. And at the end of the day, everything rests on my shoulders alone and yeah, sure I can delegate, but the buck stops here,” and on and on and on and on.

Stacy Jones (18:56):
I have one question for you. How did you get inside my brain?

Kim Ades (19:01):
Which ones are you-

Stacy Jones (19:02):
I’ll just apply it all. Just every last thing that you’ve said I think a long my career path at one point or another, I’ve had all of those. So I think that, and I know from talking to many people that all of those do come up. You’re dead on that those are ongoing issues that companies are having, individuals that companies are having.

Kim Ades (19:27):
I’ve been doing this for a long time, right? And so one of the things that I’ve discovered is that leaders tend to get trapped in four key areas, like they struggle in four key areas. The first is that they feel isolated. And again, not COVID isolation, but leadership isolation. Where they do feel like the burden of responsibility is on their shoulders alone and it’s not something they can share. They feel like they’re in it alone. It’s lonely at the top, right? You’ve heard of that.

Kim Ades (19:55):
The second one is that they tend to have friction with people. So people don’t move fast enough, people don’t get it, people don’t care, people don’t… There’s just friction with people. And that happens professionally and personally. And they’re like internally frustrated, attitude of others.

Kim Ades (20:14):
The third is that they feel a sense of chronic dissatisfaction. What does that mean? They are go getters, they’re driven. And so even if they’ve achieved a whole bunch of stuff, even if they’re all the way up here and their achievements, they say, “Well fine, but why am I not up here?” So they feel like they’re always behind the eight ball. They feel like it’s never enough, and they’re never performing as well as they think they should be, and they’re never feeling like they’re maximizing their potential. There’s always more, and they feel like it’s never enough.

Kim Ades (20:47):
And last but not least, it’s a term I invented called slippage. And here’s what it means, is that leaders tend to let important things slip through the cracks. So it could be their health, could be their relationships, could be their parenting, could be they don’t take time to have fun, to read books, to do the things that are important for their lives. And they let that stuff fall between the cracks or fall far down the line in terms of what’s a priority. And so at the end of the day, as a person, they start to suffer because those things are required to fuel them, but they’re just not on the agenda.

Stacy Jones (21:32):
So what does a person do, besides hiring you of course? What are some of the things that someone listening, if they don’t hire you, which maybe everyone should hire you, but what are some of the steps someone can do to start unraveling some of this themselves?

Kim Ades (21:51):
So I’m a big, big fan of journaling, as you know. And so I encourage people to journal and as they journal, ask themselves some critical questions. It could be like, “What happened yesterday? Why does this bother me?” But one of the big questions that I encourage you to ask yourself about everything that bothers you, everything that bothers you is what do I believe to be true about this? What do I believe to be true? And is this belief actually true?

Kim Ades (22:22):
So let’s say I’m a leader and Oh, I’m frustrated because Bob didn’t do X, Y, and Z. So then I might ask myself what do I believe to be true? Bob doesn’t really care, then I ask myself, “Is that actually true? Could there be something else going on with Bob? Is there something else at play? Is it true that he doesn’t care or are there other factors that I am not privy to or not considering?” The minute I asked myself those questions, what happens? My frustration decreases even just a little bit. So ask yourself that question, what do I believe to be true?

Kim Ades (23:01):
The other thing that I would recommend, and if you’re okay with it, can I give everybody an exercise to do?

Stacy Jones (23:06):
Please do, yes.

Kim Ades (23:09):
And guys write this down. And if you’re really bold, I will engage with you on this one. Okay. So here’s how it goes. Question number one, it’s a journaling question, what do I really, really want more than anything? Like truly deeply. So not what my mother wants for me or my spouse or my children, not what my partner wants, not what I think I should want, but what do I truly deeply want inside? And this is a good time to ask yourselves that question actually, while we’re kind of in the house and reevaluating our lives. What do I really, really want?

Kim Ades (23:48):
Second question is, so what’s stopping me from having it. What’s getting in the way and write down all the reason. By the way, all those reasons are your beliefs. What I have found is that when you ask people, what is it that they really, really want? A lot of times they get stuck. They can’t write it down. They don’t know what they really, really want, or they don’t think they can have what they really, really want. So they’re not comfortable writing it down or claiming it. or they haven’t thought about it like that. They just think about their next step. They don’t kind of take that 50 foot view and say, “What is it that I really, really want?”

Kim Ades (24:27):
The second thing is that when you list all the reasons that you don’t have what you really, really want, what you started to understand is where you are actually stuck, and where you are telling stories that keep you trapped. So if you want to engage in this exercise, it’s like so insightful. It wakes you up. It has you seeing what you’ve never seen before, just by asking yourself these two questions. But if anybody wants to have a conversation with a coach, send me these questions and I will hook you up with one of our coaches who will then review your responses to these two questions.

Stacy Jones (25:16):
That is a very kind offer. And we will make sure that this is included in our show notes so that people can know where to go and where to send.

Kim Ades (25:24):
Perfect.

Stacy Jones (25:26):
Now, do you find that men and women have different beliefs that stopped them in their trajectories or really is it all the same and it doesn’t matter?

Kim Ades (25:39):
Men and women are much more similar than you might imagine. Their manifestation is a little bit different. So they just demonstrated a little bit differently. They’re respond to these beliefs a little bit differently. But fundamentally, a lot of people have beliefs that they’re not equipped, they’re not experienced enough, educated enough, smart enough, that they’re not performing enough, that they need to satisfy people. I can’t tell you how many people are driven by the need for external validation, and on and on and on and on. It’s just men and women aren’t as different as one might think.

Stacy Jones (26:26):
Do you feel that you have this massive therapy degree based on the insights that you’ve gained all of these years of being able to dive into people’s souls and inner thoughts?

Kim Ades (26:37):
Well, I do have a lot of experience, and certainly coaching is therapeutic, but don’t have a therapy degree. What I do have and what I have kind of honed over the years is the ability to very, very quickly understand what a person is struggling with truly. So for me, as a coach, I work very fast. Speed is important. So I get there quickly. You talked about peeling the layers of an onion, I have a very quick knife. I’m sharp, and I get in fast and that’s just due to, I would say two things, experience and exposure. I have coached a lot of people, and also very, very strong intuition.

Stacy Jones (27:29):
You can feel what actually people have and you can see belief into that below the layer of what they might actually be saying.

Kim Ades (27:37):
A hundred percent, and again, very fast. So, what are people really signing up for when they signed for coaching? They’re signing up for like this, taking a journey with an experienced guide, that’s what it is.

Stacy Jones (27:55):
Now you’ve mentioned, we were talking about the first step and the second step, and the second step was journaling. You have actually created a software program that all of our listeners and viewers could sign up for if they want to do this themselves, this is just at their fingertips and ready for them. Can you share a little bit more about that? I didn’t even talk to you about whether or not you want to share this, but I think it would be very valuable for you to share this. So that’s all on me saying you might’ve had something else you wanted to share, but share.

Kim Ades (28:23):
Yes. So I will share. So the product we developed initially was just for our own use, with our own clients. It’s called journal engine. And so things are happening in stages, right now that product is available for other coaches, consultants, online entrepreneurs, trainers, that type of thing to use with their clients. So for me as a coach, I have no idea how people can coach without a journal. Like, I really don’t know. How do you really know your client? How do you get into their hearts and minds? How do you understand what they think? How do you stay in touch with them? Like there are a million questions. How do you create an interactive, really highly valuable experience without it? I don’t know. So right now we have made it available as a product that other coaches can use with their own clients. But in about two months, we’re about to launch something really interesting and really new, and it’s called Journal Engine, The Journal That Talks Back.

Kim Ades (29:29):
So the idea is that journaling is extremely powerful, but when you get feedback from someone who’s qualified to read and respond to your journals, the power of journaling multiplies infinitely. So the idea is that you journal, and there is an actual human being on the other end, who will be reading and responding to every single one of your journals, asking you those tough questions, and really helping you to explore your beliefs and understand, what’s getting in your way, and help you move past it quickly. So Journal Engine, The Journal That Talks Back, coming out soon.

Stacy Jones (30:12):
Cool. That is awesome. And this airs, it may be very aligned to the time that it’s coming out. So we will have that as well. So that is good. Very cool. How can people learn more about you? How can they find you, be in touch, and learn about the coaching programs you offer?

Kim Ades (30:31):
The best way to find out about us is to come to frameofmindcoaching.com. We’ve got coaching programs, both one-on-one and group coaching that is available to anybody on any level of the leadership spectrum. We’ve got articles, audios, podcasts, stories, a million testimonials. Come check us out, frameofmindcoaching.com.

Stacy Jones (30:57):
Awesome. And when you say group coaching, is that something you offer to businesses so that they could actually have their teams be coached or the executive team, or how does that work?

Kim Ades (31:06):
So we have two models. One model is we call a team coaching, and then there’s not another model is called group coaching. So team coaching is when we go into one company and we’re working with a group of people from the same company and they have a certain set of goals. And so we’re working kind of privately and internally, but then group coaching is for anybody anywhere in the world who wants coaching in a supportive environment. And it’s they journal, there’s a call on a monthly basis. It’s a lot lighter than one on one coaching, but still being able to journal in a group fashion where other people are reading and responding, is really, really interesting. There’s a community that’s built, but also they’re making progress as well. It’s just kind of three different models, one on one coaching team, coaching and group coaching. And we’re doing all of that.

Stacy Jones (32:01):
Well, and the group coaching also has a level of accountability because if you were doing it yourself, you might actually not stick. And I know for myself showing up to a mastermind that’s scheduled, or a reason that you’re getting together, or you have something to do, you have a task that is due, it’s nice having that accountability system in place.

Kim Ades (32:20):
Well, it’s a system where definitely there is an appointment and so that’s definitely an encouraging or enticing piece of being part of the group. But the other interesting thing, like for me in the… We have this group and there are people in there from like there’s a guy from Thailand, from Germany, from the UK, like from all over the place, right? And so bringing together people from totally different walks of life, places in the world, what you see is real relationships getting built, where they’re supporting one another even on top of coaching. And for me, that’s a magical experience.

Stacy Jones (33:01):
That’s awesome. So Kim, before we leave, you and I had been talking before we started, and you kind of teased out that you have this awesome story that you want to share about a TikTok experience you had.

Kim Ades (33:15):
So I have five kids, and one of them is addicted to TikTok, totally addicted. And so he’s on TikTok all the time, not only watching TikTok, but he creates little videos. He’s a musician, and he does cool things like one hand to drumming, et cetera. But one day, and I mean, they make fun of me in the house because they call me the crumb police. So one day my daughter was sitting on this couch and she was eating a cookie. And I noticed she was dropping crumbs on her lap. So I took the dust buster and I started to vacuum her lap. And he’d caught me on video and put it on TikTok. What was very interesting is that some people thought it was a little obscene. I just thought I was cleaning up the crumbs.

Stacy Jones (34:08):
That is awesome. So you have a very clean house is what my expectation is from that story.

Kim Ades (34:14):
It’s hard to keep it clean with all these people. I do my best, but sometimes I really fail.

Stacy Jones (34:20):
Though with five children, they never broke you through all of these years. They’re adults pretty much now, right? They’re all older. And yet still you are that dust buster, crumb finder. So you held strong, true to your core.

Kim Ades (34:35):
The truth is I give myself a six on the cleanliness scale. It’s just too hard to keep up, if I don’t make myself crazy. But if I have an opportunity to clean crumbs, I’m on it.

Stacy Jones (34:52):
You would say that you have four people right now in your house during the lockdowns, during COVID?

Kim Ades (34:56):
Four kids and a husband. So we’re six altogether.

Stacy Jones (34:58):
So there’re six of you guys, there’re six of you. And that’s a lot. I mean, I know we have two dogs and my husband and I and we can barely keep up with that ourselves. So I can’t even imagine.

Kim Ades (35:11):
Well, I don’t know, like dogs must be harder to keep clean, right? I don’t know.

Stacy Jones (35:15):
Well, the problem is if you vacuum the downstairs, you better vacuum the upstairs really, really fast or the upstairs becomes the downstairs like instantly. So that’s what I learned from this one. Well, that is a good TikTok story, and I have a feeling if your son is… does he have a good follower base as well?

Kim Ades (35:34):
He does, he has like, I don’t know how many thousands of people watching his videos.

Stacy Jones (35:39):
We love TikTok. So we use TikTok for all of our interns to actually have to apply to our agency this year, because we had so many internship opportunities and applicant’s due to COVID, and Hollywood shutting down, and the studios ending their internships early. And we were trying to figure out not only a way to become more social as an agency, plus we’re supposed to know all things pop culture. So we try to do all things pop culture, but it was phenomenal. And the world of TikTok is really great because it’s a happy place. It’s like, it’s a place that people go. It’s not like other social media platforms where pretty much everything is just happy. The singing, the dancing, the vacuuming of your mom. And it’s just such easy little tidbits. And it’s known for being something that’s so young, but I think after COVID-19, they’re going to see a massive aging up of the people who have actually started watching it.

Kim Ades (36:38):
So let me ask you a question. You’ve got interviews, like they videotape themselves?

Stacy Jones (36:44):
Yeah.

Kim Ades (36:44):
So did you see anything interesting, anything that stood out?

Stacy Jones (36:48):
Personalities. I mean, obviously also capabilities and technical skills. That was a good-

Kim Ades (36:53):
Like what kind of interview was it something funny or was it just like they spoken to the camera?

Stacy Jones (36:58):
Everyone got to do whatever they wanted, however they wanted to show themselves. We had some people who spoken into the camera and talked about who they were. We had some people who did skits, who involved their parents or their siblings. We had some people who did clothing change acts and showed all the different hats that they could wear in a job function. We had people share their entire resume, what they’re learning in school. It really was all over the place. It was a really great way to see personalities and how people can stand out and make themselves heard through a sea of resumes.

Kim Ades (37:30):
I think it’s very interesting. And I think it has some interesting other applications that are worth exploring.

Stacy Jones (37:39):
Yeah. Well, we can chat some more.

Kim Ades (37:40):
All right.

Stacy Jones (37:41):
Perfect. Any last words of advice to our listeners today?

Kim Ades (37:46):
Yes. So if you’re listening and you’re like, “Okay, this is all really good, but get practical.” Here’s what I want you to know. If you’re frustrated with anything in your life, whether it’s a relationship, a work problem, a kid, whatever it is, and whatever you’re frustrated with, understand that your frustration comes from your thinking. So usually when we’re frustrated with something, the first thing we think of the first thing that happens is we say, “We need to do something different. What should I do?” And you might even sit down and create a plan of action, right? But what I want you to do, what I encourage you to do before creating a plan of action and moving to that massive action phase, slow down and say, “Okay, I’m experiencing frustration. How is my thinking causing me to feel frustrated? What do I believe to be true?” So before taking action, look at your thinking. Why? Because first we think than we act. Thinking precedes action. So examine your thinking before taking action. That is my greatest piece of advice. It’s a game changer.

Stacy Jones (39:08):
Well Kim, thank you so much for sharing your insights. I can tell from speaking with you that you truly are very in tune and able to dive in. So all that I had read about you seems very true, and it was lovely speaking with you today.

Kim Ades (39:23):
Thank you so much for being, for this opportunity and for spending this time with me.

Stacy Jones (39:29):
Of course. And to all of our listeners, thank you today for tuning in to Marketing Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them). I look forward to chatting with you on our next podcast.

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